Haha, apparently i have written about trust and humility before over  http://untilthedaycomes.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/trust/ and http://untilthedaycomes.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/but-im-not-used-to-it/. Wao that’s like 2 years ago for the trust post. But now i come with more experiences hoping this would bless you as you read along.

So what has been said in the previous posts, i’ll not deliberate too much on those. But just the past few months, i think God has really been challenging me, breaking me, moulding me, lifting me up and it’s been such a growth process the past 3 months. I believe that this is a season where it might set certain courses and paths i might take later on in life and it’s really been exciting!

But very interestingly, remember i blogged about not being used to things a few posts back? Well i believe God was teaching me about humility in that period of time. Humility to me is recognizing who i am, and who God is in every single situation, be it big ones or small ones. Sometimes i fall into the trap of trusting God for the BIG stuff in my life, but forget that God is still God in the small things, which i need to make Him Lord over!

So what has trust got to do with humility? Well, it has A LOT to do with humility! And i have been learning that, and once again have learnt that just yesterday. When we say we trust someone, what does it mean? From dictionary.com, i got this definition of trust:

to rely upon or place confidence in someone or something.

Well then if we use this definition of trust, which i think most of us can agree with, we put ourselves in a position where the other person is in control and we relinquish ours; regardless of whether it is something we could have controlled or not. Cause if we were to still have control, we don’t have to rely on that someone or something, and thus we don’t exactly need to trust. Trust in any aspect, requires a giving up of control in whichever area we want to trust the person with. So in whatever extent, it makes us “vulnerable” to the person or thing that we trust. Because now the control is in his/her/its hands.

I don’t know about you, but i certainly can only trust someone that is dependable, that i know will not fail me and someone who knows what he/she is doing. Well of course this is the ideal person to trust! But truthfully speaking, only God can truly fill that place. Which is why humility is so important! When i truly know who i am, that i can’t do it on my own, and begin to realize His character, His faithfulness, can i really trust Him. If i were even to be just semi humble, or pseudo humble, i’d still want my way; Because i can’t trust Him even though in my head i know i should.

Then some might think “if only God would show me some miracles, i’d be able to trust Him!”. I used to think like that too, but He’s taught me truly, that it isn’t miracles and wonders that make us believe and trust Him. Cause prior to coming to Taiwan, i asked if God would show me how much He loved me at that point of time when i was really doubting if He loved me; by providing a sum of money for me. And prior to coming, i already got ALMOST the amount and i was already really happy. But just last week, i already got more than the amount i asked for! And i was really amazed at how God actually remembered this promise of His! So my Christmas was a really blessed one.

However, just a week after this miracle (least it was one for me), after hearing some news about my might be future plans, i was actually doubting if God truly was still in control, if He would give me the best, because it was different from what i had in mind. If miracles would really cause us to believe, why did i still have my doubts? I’d like to propose, that ultimately, our faith in Him is not primarily on the miracles (which i do believe to be very important too!), but it doesn’t take precedence over His character and how we perceive Him. The signs and wonders NEED to be based on our knowledge and experience of Him for who He is.

And the thing about God, is He doesn’t rush us to trust Him. For 2 days i was in a “i really don’t know what to do now Lord, and i don’t want to pray.. i feel angry…” But He didn’t push me, nor did He say “你這不只好歹的小 Sam!”. But He allowed me to struggle and go through my emotions. And at the end of the 2nd day, i actually came back to Him because i know that He truly is in control, just that i needed to go through my emotions, and He gives us time for that. Through this, you actually see that God also in some ways, trusts us to come back to Him. Is He in control of our wills? Well He could if He wanted to by sheer power, but He doesn’t and gives us free will, so it was still my choice in wanting to come back or not, rendering God to be “not in control” for what i will choose. So even in this He first demonstrates to us that He is humble enough, and willing to trust us even though He is the ALMIGHTY, ALL POWERFUL God. Wao, what a revelation!

I think this nicely reflects how we should trust one another too. Does it mean we trust EVERYONE wholeheartedly? No i do not think so. There are safe and unsafe people in the world; due to their past experiences and influences of course. But in people whom are trustworthy, i believe the same principle applies. Where sometimes it really might seem scary to put our heart out in the open, or to rely on that person, both of these actions being a part of trust. Of course it might mean that sometimes we still get hurt in the process because humans are not perfect like God. But we still learn to trust because this is truly the way to living a fulfilling life =)

So i hope that as we journey on this road learning who we are, and who God is, that’d we’d be able to love and trust Him, and also to love and trust people. =)

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