rG directly proportional to rP

Past few days have been pretty good days of quiet time. It’s not like Wah angels came down or whatever. But i guess it’s just a closeness that i really treasure and love. In the midst of studying for exams and all, i’ve also come to learn a little more of how important it is for us as Christians to have our relationship right with God. Cause only then can we truly love those around us with a love that doesn’t just come from us, but from our relationship with Him.

Of course this is not to say that as humans, we don’t have the capacity to love. We do! I mean God did make us in His image, so naturally we would be able to love too. And even pre-believers have that capacity too. For certain people, their capacity to love might even be far more than others. But i’m not going to be touching on that today.

Just by observing myselves for the past week, it brought me to this conclusion as i’ve mentioned above.

relationship with God α relationship with people

On sunday and monday, i wasn’t feeling really happy. But more than just feelings, i knew why i was feeling like that. I neglected my time with God, and i was thinking too much into some issues that were in my head. So i was struggling a bit to come to God due to my self-sufficiency and pride. Well, guess what that did me? Apart from just not feeling good and all, my relationship with people was significantly affected too. I was complaining pretty much to my close friend, and wasn’t very kind with my words. A lot of angst and uncertainty and stuff.

But after many years, i also knew better that i should and could come out from such a state as soon as possible. For the most part, it’s usually the inertia that prevents us from wanting to get out. Once we choose to do it and get down to spending time with God again, it’ll come through. =)

So as i got back to God and all, i was still keeping a track of my internal states and thoughts. Haha pretty freaky eh? But just to sidetrack, you can actually do this too! It’ll really show you how real our God is! So okay back to my point, i started spending time with God crying out to Him. Then just that day and the day after that, including today, they have been really great days! Conversations were heartfelt and there was good sharing. There was edification, fun and just a sharing of lives! To add on to that, my days have been really funny! Like all these SUPER funny video clips posted on facebook and all have made me laugh like mad. Even thoughts of my cuuuuuteee niece made me laugh to myself when i was studying.

So yes! Keep close to God people. =) And if you don’t know Him personally yet, why not get to know this wonderful Saviour that i have? Good day!

Haha this is just a photo to make you smile cause when we’re close to God, it’s not that hard to smile! =)

Simple things

After being caught in a bit of the rain to Downtown East a little hot fudge sundae from MacDonald’s made the day that bit more pleasurable.

Oh how life can sometimes be cheered by the simple things in life.

A little ice cream, a meaningful conversation.

It doesn’t have to be that complicated. =)

Parents

Not too sure if it’s a sign that i’m growing old, which i am lar. But so are you =P Hahaha. But why i say this, well let’s see the events that have happened. When TJ was born, i became uncle Sam. Then a few years later, my niece was born and i’m REALLY an uncle now. Hmm if that wasn’t indicative, well you’ll know when the parties you attend changes from  from one for your friends and cousins, to one where you’re a generation older than the birthday boy. O_O

Hahaha it’s not like im complaining that i’m getting older. Just that it’s become more real i guess. Uncle. *shivers* affectionately being called that is fine. But imagine in the MRT being called that. AH MY GOSH. dun want. hahahah. Least not now!

Okok that was just some intro =P More and more, i seem to be feeling a bit more of how a parent feels for their children. An example would be in my previous post on the kindy kids singing As The Deer. The most recent “revelation” would be during My Sister’s Keeper. Ah My Gosh *cries*. hahaha. I’m not going to focus on the sisters this time. But the parents.

I could really imagine how the mum felt when she heard that her precious daughter kate had leukemia. The desire to really want to protect her daughter as much as she could. Her intentions and means of doing it did veer to quite an extreme when Anna was born and all. Her immense love kinda became a need to be in control of the situation, and is more concerned of how she felt, than how kate felt. But undoubtedly she loved Kate.

I’d like to talk about the father now. At one point of the movie, remember how Kate was really saddened by her being bald and did not look pretty in the world’s terms. Then there was the part where Kate was dressing up to go for the prom thingy. I could really feel how the Dad was feeling. Whenever Kate was saddened thinking that she wasn’t pretty, i’m sure it saddened the dad a lot. Not so much because of an ego problem. But because i can imagine how much the dad thinks SOOO HIGHLY of her precious precious daughter. No matter what people say, he must have felt that she was the prettiest daughter in the world. And when Kate looked SO happy when she was all dressed up. The kind of happiness he felt must have been immense. The daughter wasn’t pretty just because she dressed up, but simply because to the dad, she was happy, and she’s a princess to him.

So these little things really bring me to realize how much my parents love me. Sure they aren’t perfect. Far from it too. But i know they love me so much. And though i can’t say for you, i know there’s this Heavenly Father that is SO VERY PROUD of YOU.

Though i think one of the toughest things to do in loving someone, ESPECIALLY your future child. Is on how to let go. Like in the case of Kate’s mum, she found it so hard to let go. And i think letting go in itself is such a humbling thing. Cause it calls for us to not be in control, truting that whoever’s going be in control will be good. In our case God is the one in control. This can also be applied to many other contexts, but i won’t be talking about them today.

So i guess that’s just part of growing up. From being a helpless child, to an inquisitive and cheeky boy, to (hopefully) quite a sensible boy in most aspects, and now feeling how it’s like to feel like a parent. (And i sure do especially with all my cell members, =) ). It has been quite a journey, and though they’ll never read it.

Love you mum and dad.

Childlike

I was there at the Riverlife Kindergarten graduation rehearsal this morning. Gonna be the MC for the graduation this year! Woo!! Haha. I was there pretty early so Jerry was actually playing out some of the songs that the kids were going to dance to. So i heard the song As the deer that had a children choir singing it. My first thoughts when i heard was “ooh that’s pretty nice. so many parts! But maybe not very expressive. Not bad still!” Haha, the “occupation hazard” of being a singer of sorts.

Well after some waiting and all, the rehearsal started! The graduating class started to walk/bounce/bop/jump down the stairs. It was really very cute. Not long after, they started to dance and sing. The song came when it was As the deer. When they started singing,

“Ah my gosh!” almost wanted to cry!

I was really touched when they began to sing so loudly and dance to the song. Sure they didn’t sing well technically. Sure the dance moves weren’t sleek and all. Sure a lot of them might not have understood what the song meant. BUT, just for a brief moment, i think i felt a glimpse of how the Father heart of God is towards us, His children. At that moment as they were still singing, it was so delightful, and so warm and fuzzy! And they didn’t even do anything special. The kids were just being themselves! I guess that’s how God sees us too. We don’t have to be perfect, or sing real well, or lead cell real well. Or score reall well. God simply loves us cause we are His children. By just being that, we bring Him delight. GREAT delight if i might say. =)

So i’d like to remind us, just be ourselves in God. Simply Love Him. Cause why? Cause He simply Loves YOU to bits. =)

Grace

I’ve posted about grace before. But this time, i’ll talk a bit more about it. Past few weeks have been weeks of introspection and inspection of situations and things around me. I guess it’s sometimes good to have such times to reflect and evaluate where we are. Which i kinda did.

Well, all i can say is God’s grace has been SO amazing. =) I can vaguely imagine why the song is called Amazing Grace. It really is something VERY AMAZING. I mean i really couldn’t figure out why Jesus did such a thing for me, for us. But the thing about God is, He doesn’t always make sense (in a good way). So we can’t rationalize everything, and really just have to believe it by faith. Thing about Christianity is that it is very much a personal relationship with God. So we can’t explain a lot of things. A lot of why’s, at least for my case, aren’t always answered when i ask for it. But after some time, in retrospect, it’s always there for a pretty good reason.

And throughout my life, i’ve had my fair shares of failures and downs. Yet He is still there. Yet He’s always waiting. I mean what more can i do to show that i love Him except from giving Him this life i have? It’s truly amazing how God’s always so gracious with us. From the time Adam fell into sin, till Jesus died on the cross, until now where He’s still living in us. Even more recently, i’ve found that if i don’t spend time with Him for more than a day or 2, it’s reeeeally very crappy one! Haha

I guess a good place will be to start with my life. If God has given us grace, i guess i should start giving grace to people too. And not just that, love too. =) And i encourage all of us to do likewise! From little things like giving a compliment instead of a joke that doesn’t edify. An action that builds people up instead of embarassing someone. Let’s continue to love the unloveable, speak words of grace to those that seemingly don’t deserve it. =)

What’s our purpose

There’s been quite a few things on my mind these few days. Pardon me if i’m unable to fully describe certain theories i’m going to quote.

Quoting Bill Hybels: “The local church is the hope of the world”. Yup, i fully agree with that. But what’s the condition of the local church now? I cannot imagine how the Acts church actually worked. And how i long it is now as it was before. Where people sold their possessions when others were in need. Where there was community and love. Well there was definitely something good then, if not, how would there be numbers adding to them Daily? Because their love was evident. Their love was loud. Their love was obvious.

I wonder how it is now in the church. Pardon me for saying this. And to point out first, i love my church. I really do. But based on just merely comparison with the Acts church. Maybe there’s something missing? Undoubtedly, i do believe that those that are in church now do love God. To whatever extent, that’s not for me to say. And i’m not even going to say how much people are supposed to love God. Cause that’s their own journey with God. But have we as christians in modern days been too absorbed with ourselves? I’m not too sure.

From what i learn in Psychology and all, theories like self serving bias, having self as an anchor to deal with certain situations and give certain judgements. I’m pretty sure it’s a pretty common thing for people to do it. But how is it that everytime we do something wrong, we attribute it to something else other than ourselves, also known as Fundamental Attribution Error. A perfect example now would be about Ris Low. Sure she has done quite a lot of things that aren’t good and all. Maybe she doesn’t have a very good grammer. But who are we to criticize? It’s almost like a witchhunt, where we find all her faults and condemn her just cause of those few reasons. When our grammer isn’t that perfect, and our conduct isn’t perfect either. We laugh at her and never thought how we’d feel if we were in her postion, “It’s her fault” some might say. And what about when people laugh at us and criticize us? The most common thing that probably goes through our head will be “Why’s everyone against me?”. Funny how the same thing that happens have different effects when it’s on others or ourselves eh?

What happened to grace? What happened to love? The kind of grace and love that matters? When people seemingly don’t deserve it. Isn’t that what grace is all about? And who are we to judge ANYWAY? Am i saying that we should condone the erroneous actions of others? Of course not. What i’m saying is love the person not the actions.

Then for some you might think “but if i hate the actions, i’m hating him/her what”. Not true. It is only true if you equate your actions to who you are. Of course what we do does show who we are to some extent. But who we are is NOT what we do. The inherent worth we have comes solely from God. That is why even though we sin, God still loves us. If God equated us for our actions, then He would never be able to love us. But He sees beyond the faults to love us for who we are. So similarly, i feel that it IS possible to love someone, without consenting to his or her actions. And if you do love the person enough, he/she will know it.

Paraphrasing what Pastor Mike Connel said, we have to bring people’s expectations back to the standard of the bible. And not bring the bible down to our standard. If not it’ll just be mundane christianity all over again. Try loving someone you absolutely hate. It will take you on a crazzy journey of faith and love. =) It’s really time for us to rise up. We don’t have to go all big and change the world. Let’s start with our own lives, in speech, in life, in love, and in purity.

1 Timothy 4:12 “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity”

To treasure

I just had a really bizarre dream! Haha. And i’m still recovering from the effects of it. It featured the biggest cast EVER in the world of dreams i ever had. Seriosuly! It had friends from my primary school, secondary school, army and church!! What a star studded cast i tell ya. There were even friends that i couldn’t put a name to, yet can remember their faces kinda thing. Okay, i seem to be have calmed down a bit. I shall describe to you the dream, hoping it wouldn’t reduce the epicness of the dream cause the feelings felt SO real.

Cast: Me as the main actor
Too many friends to name for supporting cast.

It was just any ordinary day. Ordinary guy, doing ordinary things. I went to school, went to church, did my stuff, the usual stuff. Then i went to this alternate universe through a portal. Okay the portal was just a door, but i went through it anyway just to explore and have fun.

In this world, it was filled with forests, and it seemed less developed at first. But there were really pretty apartments built on top of the sea of trees! Then i saw these two native kids. They had dark skin and looked pretty normal to me. Well, they were playing and stuff and they dropped their passport or something. So after a short session, they were leaving, not realising that they had dropped their passport. So i picked it up and rushed to pass it back to them. When i called out for them, one of them suddenly flew in with a flying kick! I fell to the floor. ”Ouch, what was that for man..” They thought i was a hostile person that wanted to harm them. (Don’t ask me, i didn’t do anything weird k! Haha). We looked at their passports together  and they still felt a bit tense, but left shortly afterwards.

Not long after that incident, i was suddenly captured by more of the native people! Apparently i had done nothing wrong, these native people of the land just wanted to kill me. (how crazy is that!). At first, i was thinking “Is this a joke?”. But my thoughts were answered when they started to whack me and stuff. I then overheard plans to kill me. Either they found it fun, or they just wanted to kill me. Both of which sounded the same to me. I was terrified i tell ya. As i was being brought to the execution place, i saw the two little kids i met earlier on. They looked at me briefly, but i knew they couldn’t do anything even if they wanted to.

Then STILL along the way, i thought that i couldn’t just die for this kind of nonsense reason! So i made a run for it! I went into the apartments and dashed through the corridor. I was REALLY tired already so i bashed into one of the rooms. But before i knew it, i was seeing these 3 girls talking and looking into the beautiful scenery at their balcony. It was nearing sunset, and the sun shone into the balcony, with the sea of trees filling the bottom half of the view. It was really beautiful. Taking a closer look, i saw the faces of the 3 girls. It was Germaine! I was SOOO happy to see her! Then one of the other girls looked quite familiar, so i looked at her carefully. (Oh why i did that was because the 3 girls were totally ignoring my existence at that point of time. Haha weird i know, but it’s a dream!). Lo and Behold! It was my primary school friend Zi Wei! So only after i started to speak, then they realised that i was there. Haha. They asked why i was in such a mess, and i told them what just happened. So i asked if they could help me out. Germaine seemed like she understood what was happening, but she said “I can’t help you Sam.. i now live in this world. This is now my home! I’m finally back to where i belong. These people are like these, they do such things for the fun of it. I’m sorry sam, i really can’t help you..” My heart sank when i heard that. Then i said ” Why are you living in such a place?! “. But all i got was a sad sigh for me.

Just then i heard the search party coming for me. So i tried to hide behind the sofa. Even as i was doing that, i was crying (really badly), thinking why such a thing was happening to me. But what made me really sad, was the relationships i had but did not treasure. It was further reinforced when i saw a well dressed man wearing a suit thingy on the road (that kinda resembled the NUS road close to the deck going AS4. Haha) He picked up a ball and threw it to his cat to play, and totally ignored an injured person that was just behind the cat. Is life like that? I was crying because it seemed so unfair. It seemed like it has deteriorated to a point where relationships don’t matter anymore. Does anyone still treasure relationships? I was crying like mad for myself not treasuring those around me enough. Have i been living my life like that? So indifferent towards people’s needs when i knew they needed help? The 3 girls looked at me with empathy and felt lost as to how to help me, cause they couldn’t.

Suddenly i saw the 2 kids again! I had thought they wanted to capture me but they suddenly rushed into the room and told me to stay quiet. They had apparently tried to help me by talking to their chief in not killing me because i have helped them before. They told me how they tracked time in this alternate universe. It was in 86 minutes instead of the usual 60 we had on earth. For whatever reason, they also didn’t need a clock or watch of any sort to know the time. They then told me to leave quick because they overheard that i would be excuted on the 86th minute of that hour, which was about 20 minutes left. I tried to come up with a plan, but couldnt. Well, not like time permitted, because even before the 86th minute, the rest of the search party were already roaming outside the corridor. I had to leave. So i left quickly out from the balcony. The apartments were really beautiful! It had a resort like feel. It was layered along a hill, kinda reminded me of how padi fields are stacked. But in this case, it was the apartments being stacked. It was really nice. I moved down the stairs, passed a few apartments and made my way closer to where i was first captured thinking ” The safest place should be the most dangerous place..”. Along the way, i actually saw them walking along in one of the apartment balcony (that was huge. Imagine the outside having a swimming pool and all. Which was unlike Germaine’s balcony that was just a normal small one). I slowed down my pace to make it not seem that i was in a rush, trying to blend in to being normal. But i caught the attention of one of the natives in the search party. He looked at me, but just at the point of time, a wall blocked off his view as i walked down the stairs.

I moved along quickly until i saw this big group of people. I rushed there so i could be less conspicuous and i could blend in. They were standing around a mini swimming pool (or maybe a REALLY big bath tub) of liquid. (i had thought it was a swimming pool). But before i knew it, i was greeted with shouts and exclaims “CHENG HAO!!”. I took a closer look at their faces, and they were alot of my friends i had met in VS (Victoria School), army, and even church! I saw Shawn Tan (policeman) there too! I was really happy, yet bewildered as to what they were doing there. But even before i could say much, the search party was nearing, so i threw myself into the pool and my friends started to cheer! I had no idea why, but as i took some breaths of air, i heard that the liquid was actually alcohol. And it was meant for their party. Well if you know me i don’t drink alcohol cause i don’t like its taste, and also what it can do to you if drunk. But i didn’t have a choice so i stayed in there, only coming up for air when needed. I even had a few gulps of the alcohol. Over here, i learnt that to survive or even in general living in this world, sometimes one has to do things they don’t like. We can’t always have things our way. But enduring through them will make one stronger. =)

The search party left and i came out from the pool of alcohol. I told them what had happened and they listened. I quickly asked shawn tan if he could help me get out. Considering that he was a police and all. He thought for a bit and agreed! I was soooo happy! We left asap. But as we were doing so, i parted ways with my army/vs friends. We were all saying “it’s so good to see you!” Cause it really was! I was so glad to be able to see them. To still be alive at that point of time. The joy on their faces meant so much to me..

Shawn asked me to head to the basement. Which we did. We then reached the basement, and he suddenly threw me a carkey. I was thinking “huh! Why give me the key! Aren’t you coming along?” but i didn’t have time to think! Cause the native people suddenly appeared through the doorway we just came from. I was panicking cause they were REALLY close. Just when i thought all hope was lost..

“CHIONG AH!!!!!!”

My army friends and VS friends suddenly came charging in from another door and started to whack the natives. One of them urged me to hurry up! I was reeally very touched! For them to save me even though we were not very close. Or even if we didn’t talk much. They still did it. Relationships do matter.. So anyway, we reached the car! It was a super cool looking Police car! Haha. I tried to open the door but the key fell off my hand! “Argh!” Then Shawn took out another key and opened the door. This time he took the driver’s seat and i went into the car..

Then i woke up.

Lord, thank you that i’m alive. I pray that for the relationships i have now, that i’ll treasure them because every single person is so precious in your sight. That i will not look past the needs of people, but to show them the hope that can be found in you, even in the darkest moments of their life. In Jesus’ name i pray, Amen.

Change

Looking back at my life this past 23 years or so, it’s really interesting to see how i’ve change. Well the physical aspect aside (which i stopped growing in height since sec 2 or 3), i guess more of the emotional and spiritual side of me i’m going to focus on.

Like many of you should already know, even in my nicknames, it kinda reflects the season i’m going through. And i also realised that even the kind of songs i chose to listen have kinda changed along the years It evolved from,

wHy||Me – Cause i was always asking why things had to happen to me, bad things that is. A very egocentric one of course. The songs i listened to were of course my favourite pop/love songs. Haha. But there were a lot of the emo love songs i listened to. Maybe it was just a cycle of feeling emo, listen to emo songs, stay emo, and it keeps perpetuating. Haha, that was a really emo time.

Then when i reached somewhere around JC it became,

tHaTs||Me – At this point, i had a small breakthrough already, and i thought, “alright fine, if you don’t like me, that’s me k. that’s how God made me. So there.” haha. I accepted myself much much more than the whyme days. Haha. But still, i had loads of issues i didn’t settle. And i didn’t even realise it. The songs i listened to were pretty much the same, even though boybands were seriously fading out, which is quite a sad thing since im such a big fan of theirs! I even learnt harmony by listening to Backstreet Boys k!

Not that i have already attained it, but i press on, and this will not be the last phase oh my life. Haha, if not it’d be a pretty long one.

Dreams – This is the most recent phase i’m going through ever since the end of army or so. Well of course in between phases, there are many different seasons in each phase also. But as a general trend, it’s somewhere along these lines. This has by far been the best phase due to the much less emo-ness. You can ask Abby to vouch for me. Haha. Or many others that have seen me through all these years. Growth has definitely been a part of my life. And to dream of what God wants for me is really exciting. I still go through downs and broken-ness though. Sometimes REALLY hard ones, but i have the blessed assurance that Jesus is mine, and i can truly, truly do all things through Christ.

But along with the good changes, came some changes that i didn’t intentionally plan for. I guess for one, along with being more emotionally stable, my empathy towards emo people have decreased quite a lot. Which isn’t a really good thing. And many other things that came along.

Well there’s this saying that goes, “Change is the only constant in life.”. And well, i believe that to be true at least for the lives that we live. But i think we shouldn’t just be passive receipients to it. But to be active participants in this journey of life and change for the better, as much as possible. This might seem so tough for a lot of us, especially those that are still a little young (since there are SO MUCH changes during the secondary school years). But i do believe that as we hang on to God, we won’t go wrong. =) So let Him be your foundation!

“On Christ the solid rock i stand, all other ground is sinking sand”

I’m not one that really like changes that much. But i believe it is necessary, so since it’s bound to happen anyway, why not embrace it? =) It can be quite interesting! And i say it cause i really feel that way. If we were to like change, how can we grow right? Cause growth is a kind of change too. =)

Celebrate

Don’t you think it’s such a joy to celebrate? Birthdays are real fun. Celebrations for good results are cool. I mean celebrating is SO fun! Haha.

And since celebrating is so cool. I think we should celebrate EVERYDAY! Haha. And what better way to celebrate people! Since we’re around people everyday! Today was such a joyous day. I mean apart from it being the 18th Anniversary for Riverlife, it was pretty normal. People were the same people i saw for most weeks, and stuff like that. But today, just seeing people made me really happy! Maybe it was being cooped up at home for too long already because of h1n1. Haha.

But today (and the past few days actually), has made me realise that people are really worth celebrating. And each and every one is REALLY so special. I now see how SUPERBLY CREATIVE God is. I mean all of us are SO different! And each one of us bring a whole new dimension in the groups we go to. Some are quiet. Some are crazy. Some talk loads of nonsense. Some make loads of jokes. Some smile. Some look bored. Some eat a lot. Some are blur. Some are talkative. I mean everyone is SO DIFFERENT. Yet they all bring something special to the group they belong to. Themselves.

You don’t have to be me. I don’t have to be you. You just have to be yourself. Course that doesn’t mean we don’t improve ourselves and stuff like that. But am not gonna be talking about that. It’s just celebrating people because God made us. Simply cause we’re alive! Simply cause God IS good! Sometimes we think so much. Emo here, emo there. Dun like this, dun like that. Sian here, sian there. Stress here, stress there. But why worry so much? =) Life might not be a bed of roses, but we certainly can still celebrate it! It’s so much than worrying, stressing, sianing about life right?

I mean SINCE we have to go through this journey called life. Why not go through it with a smile on our face, a glide in our strides as we walk by faith and joy! So much more, FUN and COOL and NICE right?

And over here, i just want my friends and cell to know. I really appreciate you. I do. Can you feel it? =) Maybe a bit hard. But as i’m typing these words, gratitude and just a smile on my face accompanies these seemingly “dead” alphabets.  And you guys AND girls don’t have to do anything special or what, (though of course doing special stuff are always appreciated and well liked by me =P ), just be yourself!

Just like rachel (wong!). Seeing you smile makes me smile! Or samantha, when you burst out singing HSM too. Or nicholas with your really interesting laughter! And bryan(little) that’s also so bhb! Or blandon that laughs SUPER HIGH pitched! And the list goes oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon. If i continue the list will burst. Haha. But you get the drift.

So everyone, from my cell that i so love (i really do love ALL OF YOU), to my friends, to my family. Thank you for being a part of my life. =)

Reminder

Ya know, a lot of times i’m quite into those personality tests and stuff, cause i find them really interesting! They give a rough gauge on who you roughly are. But the thing is, i think a lot of times we let outside indicators determine how we react, how we feel, and to a certain extent, who we are.

For many others that have not done such tests before, you might think such a post doesn’t apply to you. But i’m sure to a certain degree it does because it’s the whole underlying “mechanics” that is the real reason of why we do such tests, which IS the important thing to look at.

 I think this is best explained by me sharing of my own life, and hope you’d understand why i mentioned those things above. For those that know me well enough, you’d know that i’m an introvert. An introvert is a person who gets his energy by being alone, and spending enough time doing his/her own things. So a lot of times, i’ve told myself that i’m an introvert, and i really like being able to have my own time to myself. Which itself is true! But here’s where the problem is. It is where i have let it determine who i am, and how i would react when i am with people. Of course i’ve always told myself that such personality tests and words that describe us do not determine who we are. But i think subconciously, it creeped into my life to have made it the way i am: TO BE AN INTROVERT.

And for quite some time know. I was wondering how come i’ve been really quiet with people. And i get really drained after meeting them. Of course i really like all the meet-ups i’ve had! But it’s just plain weird that i was so quiet. Haha. And to feel so tired just after one meet-up. I think somewhere along the line, i’ve let myself slip into being an extreme introvert. Haha. And for a bit, i’ve lost the joy of being around people. Not that i don’t love the people i’m with. But i believe i can love them more with both my words and actions. How am i to love people if i were to just be quiet and do nothing? I’m not saying we keep talking and stuff. But really speaking words of edification, being sincerely interested in someone, being there for one another physically, in soul, in spirit. Loving them.

So to all the introverts, so what if we’re introverts? Haha. Know that in the bible it says,

Romans 8:35-37
” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us”

Therefore, we do not have to to conform to our predispositions, or be slave to it. I’m not asking all introverts to suddenly become WOOO HOOOO and go all crazy. That’s a little weird anyway. Haha. What i’m saying, is don’t let all these predispositions control us. Yes we might feel drained after meeting people. But the thing is to really just love the people around you the way that is YOU. =) I for one doesn’t think that just being quiet and listening ONLY is a way to show love. YES it can be. But if it does not include us sharing our lives too, then what relationship is that? We have to be real to the other too! A way of loving people, is showing them that we are willing to be vulnerable and real before them too. That i feel is in itself a really precious gift.

I’m not exactly an extrovert, so i can’t really say with conviction what you can do. But it might just be to listen more? Haha. It depends on your make up and stuff. The more important thing, is to really be sincere in loving someone. That will mean to do certain things differently for different people, or to share more, to listen more etc.

Personally for me, this came as a revelation, that i might have actually forgotten the joy of loving people. Of just being a blessing to those around me. By succumbing to a “personality” that i am and saying “it’s okay that i’m like that”. The real reason for us to be on earth, is really to Love God, Love People. And when that came back to me, i really do want to love people now. =) As much as i can. As much as God has loved me. It’s not about what i’m comfortable with. It’s about loving people with the love God has for me. Even when it’s tough, i know God’s still my sustenance. So i can still talk and tell jokes, and just love ALL OF YOU!